Chess Champion: No, I Didn’t Use Anal Beads To Cheat

September 16, 2022 Idiocracy, Silliness

The Independent reports:

US chess player Hans Niemann has rejected claims that he used a sex toy to beat Norweigan world champion Magnus Carlsen. The streak of 53 games during which Mr Carlsen, 31, remained unbeaten was ended on 4 September when he was defeated by the 19-year-old US grandmaster in the Sinquefield Cup hosted by the St Louis Chess Club.

Mr Carlsen left the tournament the following day, something The New York Times called “an exceedingly rare move, especially among top players in elite events”. Mr Niemann was accused of using anal beads connected to a computer that would use artificial intelligence to find the best moves and provide directions via vibrations in the toy.

The Huffington Post reports:

Niemann insisted that his win was legitimate and suggested he was willing to debunk the anal beads theory. “If they want me to strip fully naked, I will do it. I don’t care. Because I know I am clean,” he said in an interview after his win.

“You want me to play in a closed box with zero electronic transmission, I don’t care. I’m here to win and that is my goal regardless.”

Niemann has acknowledged that he did cheat using computer assistance in online games when he was younger, but he said he didn’t do anything illegal at the Sinquefield Cup. “It must be embarrassing for the world champion to lose to an idiot like me,” Niemann said in an interview after his win. “I feel bad for him.”

The New York Post reports:



In the wake of the stunning result, the chess world exploded into such an uproar that Niemann faced allegations of cheating, was banned from chess.com — and even billionaire Elon Musk weighed in with a tweet mocking online rumors that a rectally inserted device was used in the possible scam. “Talent hits a target no one else can hit, genius hits a target no one can see (cause it’s in ur butt),” the Tesla CEO tweeted on Sept. 8. The tweet was later deleted.

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