Thankful Nation Avoids Vaccine Zombie Apocalypse

From my May 2022 post:

Retired Army Lieutenant General and disgraced ex-National Security Advisor Michael Flynn is a notorious peddler of outlandish conspiracy theories, especially those that originate inside QAnon or spew from the pouty lips of former President Donald Trump. On Sunday, Flynn endorsed yet another fringe – and absolutely looney – conservative delusion about COVID-19 vaccinations during an appearance on right-wing radio host Clay Clark’s ReAwaken America Tour.

According to Flynn and Clark, COVID vaccines contain “dormant pathogens” that will be triggered into action when 5G towers (presumably all at once all over the world) issue an 18 gigahertz signal for one minute.

The signal causes “IP36 gene deletion” among the vaccinated. And that’s when the eating of brains begins.

Earlier this week, the dedicated scientists at QAnon headquarters determined that the above-cited signal would be issued yesterday, warning everyone to therefore stay away from anybody who has been vaccinated if they want to keep their brains.

Flashback: Michael Flynn affirmed belief that “5G technology” will unleash a new “pathogen” hidden inside the COVID vaccine.

Clay Clark elaborated that this will create zombies who will “begin to bite people.” pic.twitter.com/7qIEoeDD13

— PatriotTakes ?? (@patriottakes) September 3, 2022

Today is Sept. 3rd and according to Qanon, I’m supposed to be a zombie for 12 hours today due to my Covid vaccine.

I can confirm that I am neither rotting or hungry for human brains.

This is not a joke. I’m safe to be around today.

Zombie’s honor ?

— Emmy (@emeeceebebe) September 3, 2022

https://t.co/zvazUGroK3 pic.twitter.com/yszf2FHBi5

— PatriotTakes ?? (@patriottakes) September 4, 2022

Who else was unaware that the Zombie Apocalypse for vaxxed people is today? I, like, am totally unprepared. ?‍ pic.twitter.com/xZVgdxbQGM

— Jon Cooper (@joncoopertweets) September 3, 2022

At first I was excited to become a zombie, but then I realized that if everyone was a zombie except for unvaxed MAGA, there would be no brains left to eat.

— Kyle Keegan (@realKyleKeegan) September 4, 2022

Um… I was told that as a vaccinated person I would be a zombie by about four hours ago. Wtf #qanon? Can’t you people keep at least one promise? I have so much green makeup to return tomorrow now.

— Victoria Veruca Salt (@victoriavsalt) September 4, 2022

Rumor had it among some QAnon nutters that yesterday (9/3/22) was the day that all of us who’ve been vaccinated would start turning into zombies.

Well, made it through the day, no ill effects. Just to be on the safe side, better lay off the Cream of Cerebellum soup until Monday.

— Tom Shafer (@TomShafShafer) September 4, 2022