SNL Devotes Opening To Expulsion Of George Santos

“I’m being assaulted. This entire country has been bullying me just because I’m a proud, gay thief. But what else is new? America hates to see a Latina queen winning.

“Since the day I was elected, it’s been a witch hunt, but if I’m guilty of anything it’s for loving too much/fraud. One of America’s favorite sons, me, has been cut down in the prime of his life at 17 years old.

“I’m just regular, old Professor Major General Reverend Astronaut Santos, protector of the realm, princess of Genovia.

“But I promised myself I wouldn’t let it ruin my Kwanzaa.” – Bowen “George Santos” Yang, in last night’s SNL cold opening. Stick around for the performance of “Candle In The Wind.” Yes, really.